Seniority Rules

Enjoying sex over 50

Sexual Healing: Sex, Access, & Mobility

Our first column topic addresses the basic relationships between Sexuality, Accessibility and Mobility. This week we will introduce four basic concepts we feel are key to understanding what basic types of potentially beneficial products  are available to people with accessibility needs and mobility challenges. The next three columns we will review specific products that can meet these needs.

How does physical mobility affect humans? Most of us will experience bouts of limited mobility during our lifetime on at least a temporary basis. We may strain or break a muscle, tendon or bone that requires recovery times ranging from a few days to weeks, months or years. We may suffer a life-altering injury  or illness that may affect our mobility on a more long-term basis (stroke, arthritis, diabetes, circulatory illness, accident, etc.). We may have been born with mobility limitations due to illness or bodily structure differences (such missing  or inoperable body parts, accelerated or slow growth, etc).

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability is a great introduction to and resource on this and the related topics of sexuality and wellness.

Whether temporary, long-term or permanent, people who experience mobility limitations in particular report numerous challenges in giving and receiving sexual pleasure including difficulty in reaching their own or a partner’s body for contact, positioning their own or a partner’s body, and in controlling or holding toys and pleasure products.

Numerous products exist for improving the reach of those with physical limitations, allowing remote contact to eliminate many reach-imitations, positioning aids to increase accessibility of specific body parts and reduce the strain of holding a position and ergonomically designed toys to provide pleasurable sexual stimulation  with less difficulty and bodily strain.

Remote access products can potentially benefit persons with multiple types of mobility limitations. As long as a person has a means of accessing the controls of a remote controlled pleasure product (including vibrators, e-stim tools, and even erotic media), remote-controlled products potentially allow many persons a vastly improved range of connection and control.

Extended reach products potentially benefit persons with limited mobility of the arms and hands by extending the reach of fingers, arms (and even legs)to allow for enhanced contact and stimulation opportunities.

Positioning aids allow for intentional maneuvering of  the body to allow access and provide support to the bodies of people with mobility challenges and their partners.

Ergonomic pleasure products reduce the many difficulties people with limited mobility can face when holding and attempting to control sex toys they wish to use on themselves or a partner. Such products are designed with attention to weight, grip and electronic controls.

In the next week’s column we will recommend specific products for remote access and reach to make sexual pleasure more accessible to folks who face mobility challenges.

Attn: Educators and Care-providers: If you would like to present your research as part of this column (in a guest column or cross-post), as a guest presenter to other providers, or in a public workshop through our Passion 101 Classes, please email us.

#SexploratoriumWellness  Join the conversation! What topics, products, problems or solutions would you like to see discussed in this column? What do you think of our mission and format? When you provide suggestions, ideas or feedback here or using the #SexploratoriumWellness  hashtag on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook, you will be automatically entered into a raffle to win one of the products recommended in a specific series topic. Winners for a prior topic  will be announced as we introduce the next topic.

12 Days of XXXmas

It’s the naughtiest time of year! Once again, SEXPLORATORIUM will be giving away 1 free gift to 1 lucky *customer each day for the 12 days leading up to XXX-MAS!

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With quality brands like Liberator, Tantus and Vixen toys to choose from, each lucky customer can take home a prize worth up to $249.99

Starting Sunday December 13th,  the 12th customer will win a free gift (choose from either general sexuality or BDSM item)!

On Monday the 14th, the 11th in-store customer will win a free gift. Tuesday the 15th, the 10th customer will win and so on until the first purchase on XXX-Mas Eve (note that we will close at 6pm on December 24)!

The sooner you come in, the more prizes you’ll have to choose from!

Besides this awesome contest, what other Holiday cheer is Sexploratorium whipping up?  There is our in- store layaway sale where customers will receive 20% off any remaining balances when they pick up their layaways or special order items by XXXmas eve. SEXPLORATORIUM also provide free gift packaging and gift receipts (that detail our warranties, etc) with each purchase while supplies last. SEXPLORATORIUM  Online will feature  flash 50%off sales of in-stock items via our social networks each day, so make sure to keep an eye on the Sexploratorium Facebook page and Sexploratorium Twitter

 

Safer Sex for Seniors- An Online Resource

SaferSex4Seniors.org is  independent website created by professional sexuality educators, researchers, authors, trainers, counselors, and therapists.

The website-in-progress contains educational  fact sheets (written by experts who can be contacted directly through links from each article) covering diverse activities in relation to safer sex and senior bodies.

Their video PSA tells it like it needs to be: Do it. Safely!

Now that the (came of age prior to AIDS ’60s and ’70s) boomer generation of Free Love devotees is maturing (often re-mating after losing spouses and friends), it is both affirming and entertaining to witness the evolution of educational materials aimed at this demographic. Older and (hyper) active!

G-Ki Gasms!

WOW! WOW! WOW! I played with my sextoy and what did I get? – The most amazing orgasms. Not a misprint, the plural form of orgasm. This coming from a woman whose orgasms are not easy to create these days, due to the fluctuation in estrogen. Hitachi was always the last toy needed to do the trick, but not with Je Joue G-Ki. Actually, I used Hitachi first, so that I would be prepared for the g-spot gasm.

Oh yes! No doubt, there is a G-spot. Sheri Winston’s book, “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal,” has beautiful pictures and laymen’s explanation as to the manufacture of ejaculate. I didn’t squirt, might have dribbled, didn’t matter, I just know how I felt – incredible!

Variations: Use vaginally while simultaneously having anal play and/or insertion.

MEN: Why not try it anally to produce prostate stimulated orgasms? Make certain you clean it thoroughly before giving it back to your girlfriend. Better yet, use a condom.

Susana Mayer, Ph.D.
Dr. Mayer is a crusader for Basic Sex Rights, the founder and host of the Erotic Literary Salon and advocate for the Ageless Sex Life™

 

 

Nuts and Bolts:

Manufacturer: Je Joue

Style: Combination G-spot dildo & clit vibrator. Adjustable curvature (nice feature, since g-spot locations vary), adjustable and variable speed and pulsations.

Packaging: Elegant black box, tied with ribbon. Comprehensive manual included, which explains g-spot exploration and adjustable features.

Measurements: Entire toy is 9″ long, handle area is 1-3/4″ wide. Insertable portion measures 4-1/2″ by 1-1/4″ and bulges at the tip.

Material: Matte silicone.

Colors: black, purple and rose. (I shall admit, mine was black and attracted a lot of lint – hint, keep in black box for storage).

Power: Rechargeable. AC cord attaches to magnets to charge. All included.

Care & lube: Use water based lube. Wash with warm water, soap, or toy cleaner. Cannot be boiled or placed in dishwasher.

Waterproof: Yes, but remember, do not boil or place in dishwasher.

Power & noise levels: Amazing power yet only a vibrating purrrrrr. One of the quietist toys I own.

Vibration patterns: Five constant vibe settings, five patterns that include pulsations and wavy vibration. Wish that the adjustments for settings were easier to reach and push. With lubed fingers it was occasionally difficult to change patterns.

Get LAID!

So, guys…maybe you’ve taken the plunge and tried cock rings before. Or maybe you haven’t (what are you waiting for, anyways?!)… Either way, have we got a great new product for you! Introducing the Laid P.2 Silicone Cock Ring!


“Sexuality affects our thoughts, emotions, actions and our interaction with other people. It exists in the energy that drives us towards seeking love, warmth and intimacy. It is expressed through what we feel, how me move, how we touch others, how we touch ourselves and how we let others touch us. it is an integral part of each and every human being, something which cannot be separated from other parts of life.” –Laid

How do you design a sex toy? It has nothing to do with sketches or beauty, for beauty’s sake alone. The only consideration must be pleasure. Given or received, pleasure to every one of your senses. Laid’s toys were never sketched. They were sculpted by hand, and relentlessly tested by real people, re-sculpted and tested again, until real people loved them. The colors and finishes were chosen the same way.

But, they didn’t stop there, every thoughtful detail was included from user manuals with creative, inspiring ways to use each item, diagrams that explain every curve and nuance of the product design, and a sample of lubricant (under the carved foam insert) is included with each toy.

Designed to be worn around the penis and testicles, the P.2 penis ring contributes to a fuller erection and may delay orgasm by slowing the flow of blood from the penis. The extension is angled at exactly 61 degrees in order to massage the erectile tissue behind the testicles, as well as gently push up against the perineum (the area between the testicles and anus) with each thrust during intercourse.

· Oval shaped for a better fit around the penis and testicles

· Extended end with the logo applied as texture for added sensation to the clitoris

· Convex surface in order to stimulate the perineum

· Angled more dramatically than other rings for a stable, comfortable fit

· Available in 2 sizes: 51.5 mm-Blue, 47 mm-Black Currant

· Also designed for versatility, try turning the P.2 in different positions to experience other sensations.

· 100% Medical grade silicone

· Measures 4.5”x 2.5”

· Inner ring measures 2”d

· Textured pattern on one end adds more sensation

· Beautifully presented in award-winning packaging with no cost spared

· Box measures7.5” x 3” x 3.25”

Buy it online or stop by the store to touch this satiny and beautiful new toy in person, in our Male Room!

 

50 ways to love your Valentine (even if you are your Valentine)

Check out these 50 ideas for making your Valentine’s sexier.

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Register in advance for upcoming Passion 101 classes and save!

Invest in an erotic makeover for your home with sex furniture and accessories!

Get fitted for a new strap-on harness!

Or go strapless with toys that give double the pleasure!

Adopt a VixSkin dildo for a lifetime of realistic, body-safe service!

Make a juicy valentine with a half-price glass juicer!

Turn periods into an exclamation points with Beppy tampons!

Practice your lovemaking skills with Fleshlight and Tenga!

Hold the key to his…heart…with a chastity device!

Give yourself mind-blowing internal orgasms with Aneros!

Humble your mates with the Humiliator gag system!

Nibble your lover’s (or your own) nipples with a new set of clamps!

Be blind to everything but pleasure with a new blindfold!

Taunt and tease them with fancy-ticklers!

Get swinging with a brand new flogger!

Be tantalized by your lover from across the room with Astrea remote-controlled vibrating panties!

Get down to business with a new riding crop or cane!

Schedule a private educational consultation or party in our gallery!

Connect with your partner using restraints!

Play doctor with your partner or look at yourself from the inside!

Connect to your animal instincts with custom-made fangs!

Electrify your sex life with an E-stim box and accessories!

Immobilize your partner with sleepsacks and straitjackets!

Play cops n’ robbers with quality handcuffs and steel restraints!

Silence your submissive with a wide range of gags!

Learn 25 other ways to redeem your rewards at our sister store, PASSIONAL Boutique where costumes bring your props and sexcessories to life!

A beautiful duet.

As my partners have aged I have kept a stash of cock rings near my bedside – just in case a cock became fickle. The Duet elastomer vibrating ring is my newest addition and one that truly stands out. This is a ‘partner’s ring’ that is capable of producing heightened sensations simultaneously for a  couple (heterosexual, in this case).

Because my partner has unusually large testicles he was only able to use it at the base of his cock, not around his balls. More pleasure for me, although we positioned one vibrating end so it would rest on his testicles. I still have the memory of my partner’s expression as he witnessed my body’s response. I exploded almost instantaneously into a wave of intense pleasure.
As my body has aged the sensitivity of my clit has changed. This accessory made me realize my sweet spot has actually expanded. The ring hit a location about an inch below the nub of my clit – new hot spot for me, while the other end played with my pucker – i n t e n s e! Keep a cloth nearby to wipe your hands, slippery fingers covered with lube make it difficult to switch on or off.

The Duet gets "dual thumbs up" for fabulous sex over fifty!

 

My partner offered to add his thoughts on this product:

Mid-50’s and maintaining erections can be difficult. There are drugs such as Viagra and Cialis, but there are people who can’t take them. The Duet elastomer vib cock ring is a wonderful addition to the ranks of sexual accessories. It fits snugly but comfortably, and it helps maintain a healthy erection. The most wonderful thing about it, though, is the two mini vibrators at both ends; think of them as testicles with attitude. Their vibration allows for stimulation for the woman that gives her great pleasure even if you are unable to maintain an erection for a long time. They are adjustable, so they can be arranged to rub against a woman’s most sensitive spots, and we know that different women have different spots in different places. I would give this device a hearty endorsement and an “A+” rating. It really helps a man pleasure his (female) partner, and isn’t that what this sex thing is supposed to be about anyway?

Susana- Susana runs Philadelphia’s Erotic Literary Salon and other sexy events around town!

Another Duet Enthusiast- Reviewed by Jules G.

I must admit I am a skeptic when it comes to vibrators with clit stimulators. Or just clit stimulators in general.

Supposedly I’m on of the lucky 30% that has such a sensitive clit that even the most gentle vibrator feels like a power sander. Not the case with the Duet.

I picked it up on my boyfriends request, odd considering that I am the intended benefactor with this toy. That is not entirely the case. My boyfriend was pleased with the gentle vibrating sensation, which brought him closer to orgasm more quickly than normal. And of course, holding off for a moment, resuming, then stepping back again leads to a greater, more cosmic orgasm. I can attest to that!

As for me: the duet offers two features for the clitoral stimulator. Constant vibrating or vibrating only when pressure is placed on the attachment. We tried it both ways. Initially opting for the buzz only with the deep thrusts, what a great tease!  Greedy me, I chose to switch it on permanently. Other side of the ring features a constantly vibrating perianum stimulator. Wonderful. Shape is that of a rectangular pyramid, smaller nubbies graduating to longer and longer at the apex. I only wish they would have applied that logic to the clit stimulator. The toy was quiet enough, didn’t interrupt the moment in the least.

My only real concern was that too much lube causes the ring to rotate during very powerful thrusts, perhaps they should take into consideration that the base of the penis isn’t entirely round and create a cradle to help keep it in place. It works quite nicely when penetrated from behind, granted that you rotate the ring around so that the clit stimulator is on the bottom, and the other up top.

When asked about the product immediately after sex my guy could only smile and give it “two thumps up”.

I couldn’t agree more.