REVIEW: Pete and the Art of Packing

       For those of you who don’t what packing is, it’s fairly simple. Stick something in your pants so it appears as though you have a package. Hence: packing. But, as any drag king or transguy will tell you, the practicality of packing is anything but simple. You have to find something of suitable shape and size, for starters. And of course you want it to be appropriate for what you’re doing. If you’re in a drag show and you’re dancing to a David Bowie number from Labryinth, your package needs to be spectacularly large, and maybe glittery (go back and watch the movie, his junk is practically punching you in the face). If you’re just looking to pass and feel/look more like a bio-guy, something a little less obnoxious is probably what you’re in the market for. In my personal experience, and from the stories of others, almost anything phallic can – and has been – used as a packer. Dildos, vibrators, socks, deodorant, condoms filled with hair gel and wrapped in stockings, and even a banana(that got a little messy towards the end). Packing can be, in a word, daunting.

caramel limpy

A great entry level packer (that retails for less than $20) is the Mr. Limpy

So finally, in the world of sex toys, some designers decided to make some flaccid phallic cyberskin or silicone wiggly bits called packers. They have the shape and size of a real flaccid penis (balls included!); they come in a variety of lengths and colors; and they’re inexpensive and relatively easy to clean and care for.

Note: My personal recommendation for a decent and inexpensive packer is the Mr. Limpy, available at Sexploratorium. For a more top-of-the-line packer, check out Vixskin’s Mr. Right, also available in the store.

Finally, someone heard the cry for a functional packer. We celebrate for only a short while though, before we are confronted with the next problem: How to keep the packer in your pants.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

For years, we packing studs have tried just as many stay-put notions as we’ve tried pseudo-packers. “Double-up on your briefs” is a common occurrence, though some shifting may occur during use. Using your harness isn’t a bad idea either, provided you have one that can sit comfortably under jeans and not look all bulky and distorted. A little fake out harness can be made from some simple elastic from a craft store, but it’s a very DIY project and won’t last long. The real gem here would be a comfortable pair of underwear, just like we normally wear, but with the capability of holding a packer.

 Enter, Pete. My new best friend. The Pete packing underwear come fully equipped to carry all sizes of flaccid packers. The construction is simple, efficient, and comfortable. It works like a charm and looks great. And Pete offers four different styles: boy-brief, trunks, and a jock strap, with or without a front pouch. It’s so simple; it’s a wonder no one had thought of it before.

Essentially, there are four added parts to the typical underwear design. 1) There’s a hole in the front of the undies to put the packer through. The shaft is now elevated in front of the undies, you can easily adjust positioning to your liking, and the balls hang comfortably and naturally behind the shaft. 2) There is a pouch attached to the front (in all but one design) to cradle the packer once it’s through the hole. 3) There are two overlapping flaps behind the hole to protect your skin from the base of the toy. 4) There’s a little elastic strap which can be snapped around the packer for added security.

These four ingenious additions make for a snug and secure fit, both for the wearer and their packer. The material is incredibly comfortable – you’ll wish all your undies were made out of the same Nylon, Spandex, and Jersey cotton combination. It fits beautifully under clothing and looks natural. You can pull them up and down all day and never have to worry about your packer shifting or falling out of place. The undies themselves look like a pair of designer underwear, with a thick elastic waistband and sleek black fabric. You can wear them under other underwear, or by themselves. The pouch has an open-fly design, so one can use STP (Stand-to-Pee) packers with ease and confidence. Basically, Pete is the solution to virtually all of our packing problems.

Another Note: most packers aren’t good to keep against skin for long periods of time. They don’t allow the skin to breathe, thus cause it to sweat, potentially causing break-outs or other unwanted conditions.

I have worn these wonder-undies in several grueling circumstances in the last month, truly putting them to the test. I wore them for over eight hours one evening. They stayed comfortable and felt natural, just like real underwear and a real package. I was able to go about my night and not have to worry about a thing. I have worn them under jeans and slacks, tight and loose, even a pair of sequined leggings (our shows can get a little intense) and they’ve looked great regardless. I have danced my ass off on stage, pranced, leaped, rocked-out, air-guitar’d, ran, sat, stood…and not once did I have an undesired shift. Everything moved with me, and nothing moved against me. In the past, I’ve gotten off stage and had my packer twisted completely around. The balls are by my knee, the head is staring me in the face, and it looks like a hot mess. But the Pete provided 100% security of movement, the confidence of a dynamic appearance, and the comfort of a real pair of underwear. Any way you slice it, this revolutionary packing underwear may just change your life. Or the life of your package.

Basically, my sweet little Kings, T-boys, and anyone else who likes having a bulge: our cries have been heard. Our prayers have been answered. We can pack. Oh buddy, we can pack! 

-Contributed by Jack

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s