The Cone

Alright, here we go. Everyone should read this one! This is the toy that everyone looks at with a skeptic’s eye, but it becomes your best friend very quickly! This is another example of a toy that can be hard to fall in love with if you don’t know much about it. And unfortunately, the little book included in the box doesn’t give you much help, other than a few diagrams about possible positions and cleaning instructions (which are really easy, actually!).

A few quotes:

“We feel for the rabbit. Really. Our faithful phallic chum comes up against stiff competition.” (New Woman)

“F**king Lush!!!” (Maxim)

“The Cone will have you rocking, humping and gyrating like a slag in a nightclub. Simple, effective and spectacularly orgasmic.” (Mayfair)

So, onto my assessment:  this toy looks out-of-place next to all the phallic toys in the store, and it would be easy to write it off as just too weird, but that would be a mistake. The only part of the cone that is hard is the bottom (which is a non-slip base to easily keep it halfway up a wall, for instance) and the rest of it ripples, vibrates and pulses in the most amazing way. It is hands free, and therefore you can put those fingers to other use…and get an all around experience. This is the closest thing to a Sybian (a saddle-like sex machine that costs more than my laptop) and yet the Sexploratorium has it for a meager $120. That’s less than many of our other toys designer toys, and this does a heck of a lot more! Also, because of its strange shape, you can leave it out in the open at home and no one will know what it is –they might guess Ikea!

To begin with, generally you sit on it (although there are many positions it can work with–you can even sit on it with Big Buddy in and the tip of the cone fits perfectly in the space meant for the bullet–ride ’em cowgirl/boy!). I’ve read great reviews from both male- and female-bodied people of various genders and orientations. Male bodies love the feelings it gives their ass, and female-bodied folks can have double the pleasure! While you could use it to massage your body, it’s absurdly easy to use sexually.

It has 16 (count ’em!) functions that range from light vibration all the way to intense, and then there are a wild bunch of pulsation channels that don’t do the normal buzz-buzz thing. Some of them ramp or rev up, some of them feel almost percussive. Most importantly, because the cone is not meant for total penetration, the rippling pink squishy cone presses up against so many nerve endings, the whole vaginal/anal area, the clitoris and the inside ring of the vaginal canal, and the vibrations and pulsations feel like a deep tissue massage compared to the bumblebee-esque feeling of many other vibrators. It is powered by three C-cell batteries and can pump out all the power you could want…no cord or remote to deal with! You turn it on by pressing down simultaneously on the two eye-like buttons, and each time you press the left button thereafter it will go up to the next level and a little light will flash the number (three flashes means that you’re on function #3). The right button is the “emergency orgasm button”. All I can say is I’ve never felt a vibrator that does that, it’s like crazy sex! Basically, it hits all the spots.

I tried it by myself (plenty!!) and with my boyfriend, who found he could feel the vibrations and pulsations just as deeply through my body when I had it pressed against my stomach or clitoral area. It’s one of those toys that there are so many positions and things you can do with it that it never gets boring, and it can make you cum in record time! I would highly recommend this toy to any person, mentioning that you shouldn’t judge a book by its strange-looking pink cover!

And just because I think this is highly entertaining – The Cone is SO popular in the UK that Prince William’s bride-to-be Kate Middleton was spotted buying one in a high-end sex shop in London and it caused quite a stir in the gossip rags!

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