An Interview with Ki

‘Ki’ is a forty year old woman of many facets. She is, first and foremost, a slave to Ichizoku Seikiji and the unconditional 24/7 personal slave of the Master of that House. Otherwise she is dominant in nature (slave, not very submissive). She is an accomplished Top and vicious sadist who (perhaps overly) enjoys developing immersive mindfucks. She also adores her opportunities to bottom, particularly for edge play, and possesses slightly more than a teeny-tiny bit of a masochistic streak. She gives the term ‘switch’ a migraine the size of the Grand Canyon, but through it all she is an instructor.


We interview Ki about BDSM, teaching, and more!

Who are you? What is your professional/lifestyle background?

I am Ki … Oh, wait, you wanted a bit more than that about who I am, right?  In that case, please allow me to try that again.  My name is Seikiji Heiwatori no Kiongakyu.  For the sanity of most people’s tongues and fingers, my name is happily shortened to ‘Ki’ (which sounds like the key you would use to start your car).

Although I am no longer active in the paid workforce, in my past I have been a member of law enforcement (both in the public and private sectors), a terminal and rehabilitative health care professional, a medical first responder, a member of search and rescue services (both volunteer and professional), a foster care parent for a wide variety of homeless animals (volunteer), and a manager of two separate young adult safe houses (volunteer).

My lifestyle background is just as varied.  I have experience in a number of protocol and play styles that range from Japanese traditions to play piercings, from Old Leather to four step Florentine and just about anything in between.  Gorean, age play, signal whips, fear play … my favorite thing is to find something new and go explore it!

What first attracted you to become a BDSM educator and lecturer? Did you have other teaching experience?

I can remember back in my junior high school years being told over and over that I was wiser than my years.  I don’t know that such was an accurate statement, but I realized that I could offer information in a way other people could understand.  I had a talent, a skill, or as some tell me, a gift.  Whatever one may call it, I took it to mean that I also had a responsibility to use this ability in the best manner I could.

Everything I have done to date in all the aspects of my life has been building upon this natural gift I was granted.  My time in emergency services taught me how to understand people better.  My time in law enforcement taught me how to listen with my eyes to people’s body language.  My time doing long term medical care taught me about various cultures and underlying meanings entwined therein.  Every position I held in my vanilla life either made me a better educator or put me outright into the position of being a trainer.

What first attracted you to BDSM as a lifestyle?  How long have you been involved with it now, and what kinds of experiences have you had?

I’ve had kinky predilections at least as far back as my earliest memories.  When the ripe old age of ten rolled by me, I had fallen in love with the feudal Japanese culture.  By the time I was fifteen I had put kinky and protocol together in my mind and was actively searching for others like me  At another young and exploratory age I also brought kink into my ongoing polyamorous lesbian relationship (four of us) that lasted for a goodly number of years (four wonderful years actually).  At twenty-one I entered formal training.  Twenty years later I have had experience that would have blown the mind of my younger self, and that often blow my mind to this day.  And I’d never trade a moment of it.

What is your favorite part of educating others about BDSM?

Watching as the light bulb of realization finally turns on, the understanding dawning on their countenances, and knowing I had a part of that happening.  The person that comes up to me after a presentation on ageplay and thanks me for letting them know they aren’t alone in their desires.  The person that approaches me after a needle play demo and tells me that they understand now.  The couple showing relief in the audience when I speak of the importance of effective communication.  My favorite part of teaching anything, not just BDSM, is knowing that I have made a difference in someone’s life for the better.

What is your favorite part of your BDSM lifestyle?

My favorite part is the protocol.  Being able to know exactly how I am supposed to behave, with who and when.  Every detail is known and consistent.  Past that, I’m greedy.  I love all of it!  Teaching, beating, being beaten, serving, the respect, the mindfucks, the entire culture … nahm, nahm, nahm!

How/when did you learn the skills and techniques that you now teach? Did you have a mentor or trainer?

I started my formal development by training from the bottom up and serving for six years in a Japanese oriented M/s Household. After a year there I earned my name, another three years and I earned my dominant privilege (dominance was considered a privilege, not a right), and two years after that saw me eventually earning my Sensei title.  All of that time saw me learn much of what I teach now.  Even after I was ‘done’ being trained, I actively sought to continue learning and do so to this day.

What kinds of classes do you teach? How long have you been teaching them?

Wow, what kinds?  Let’s see.  Effective communication, diversity, cultural comprehension, visually reading people, mental health, coping skills, disabilities, conflict resolution, medical play, floggers, whips, restraints, relationship guidence, age play, fear play, immersive mindfucks (specialty!) … and the list goes on.  It depends on which topic we’re speaking of as to how long I have been teaching it.  I’ve been teaching medical play since before I earned my Sensei title, mental health for about the past ten years, effective communication for the last fifteen or so, age play I’ve actively spoken about since back in 1999, whips is something I taught before I formally entered the BDSM community.

How did you develop your curriculum and create your classes?

Each topic is altered every time I present so none of my presentations are ever the same one twice; my style is highly personalized to each set of attendees and to how much participation I receive back.  When I create a new presentation, I make an outline of the salient points that need to be covered and in what order they should be covered.  I make sure that each point is built upon with informational offering (from me) and participatory responses (from the attendees).  After that, I run fairly free form.  Sometimes where I would have taken a presentation is not where my attendees need the presentation to go.  I do my best to assure that the people attending my events walk away with the information they both needed and wanted.

What do you most hope that students will take from your classes?

That what I am presenting on isn’t something mystical and impossible – that it truly is something that anyone that wants to accomplish, can accomplish.  That effective communication is going to be the key to any success.  That questions are good things!  I love questions.  Most of all, however, I hope that students walk away with a new perspective or understanding.

Ki will be teaching ten classes at The Sexploratorium this month, starting this weekend.

Friday January 21, 7-9PM
Sexual & Non-Sexual Ageplay

Saturday January 22
12:30-2:30 Wax Play Workshop
3-5PM Knife Play (Bloodless) & Cuttings Workshop
5:30-7:30PM Needle Play Workshop

Sunday Jan 23, 3-5 PM at The Bike Stop
Flogging Workshop

Friday January 28, 7-9PM
D/s & M/s Styling

Saturday January 29th
12:30-2:30PM Finding a Prospective BDSM Partner
3-5PM This is a BDSM Checklist 101

Sunday January 30
5:30-7:30PM Ritualistic Enhancements
8-10PM Training, Collars & Contracts

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